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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Birthdays and other things we fear

We humans are tough individuals. Then there's the times we slip.

I just had my (gulp) 49th birthday Feb. 24. It's totally throwing me for a loop. Yes, it's the numbers. But it's also the realization that my youth is past. So I've been worrying. Have I done enough in my life? Should I work at accomplishing great career things at this point or should I make a difference in the world before it's too late. What is going to be my legacy?

I look at people who put their lives on the line. Who change the world, and the successes I've had pale in comparison. So it's time for reevaluation. Call it a midlife crisis, call it pure panic. I just think there's something more. I just don't know what it is quite yet.

At this moment, I'm also worried about three friends in particular. One wonderful woman who's lost some of what makes us women recently through surgery, lost her mother and changed jobs in the past year. She's drinking more than she should, and I know, we as friends, are going to need to step in and say something soon. We love her too much not too. She enriches the lives of her family, her friends and those she meets. Yet, she's hurting and somehow maybe we've all failed her in that she hasn't been able to turn to us for solace. We must have that talk soon.

Another friend battles daily with an explicable disease. She's young full of life and energy, yet there are days when her own body fails her. It's tough to see her going through this. I hope she knows that we're here for WHATEVER she needs.

And lastly, my friend, E, is going through the roughest time of her life. Rebuilding it after a long marriage, ended not by her choice but by the selfishness of two other people.

That combined has left me unable to get a good night's sleep, as I try to solve all the problems at hand when I should be sleeping.

Thanks for listening.


LilRed said...

From one Pisces queen to another ... don't let your birthday get you down. Birthdays are a great thing to celebrate. Unless you wish you were dead. Ha! I certainly hope that is not the case.

Gina said...

C., you asked what your legacy would be, and then you showed it plain as plain. Your legacy will be friendship. You may not know it, but you are changing the world — for the better. Happy Birthday!