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Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Great Outdoors

Being outdoors is overrated. I'm just saying. 

I have several facts to back up my claim. Sonny Bono would not have died had he not been sliding down a snow-covered mountain and crashed into a tree -- OUTDOORS.  For that matter, JFK might not have  been assasinated if he hadn't been riding in a convertible with the top down, enjoying the OUTDOORS.

Other catastrophic things that can happen when you're enjoying nature?

Eaten by a bear - OUTDOORS.

Drown - Mostly OUTDOORS.

Tree falling over on to your head - OUTDOORS.

Snake bite - OUTDOORS.

Eaten by a shark, stung by a Ray, sunburns, poison ivy...all OUTDOORS.

So maybe I'm exagerating a little bit. I have been known to enjoy a walk and even garden. Heck, I've even gone camping and slept OUTDOORS, though all the while I was worried I would be eaten by a bear.

Things didn't used to be this way. As a kid, I spent almost every free hour outdoors. Nothing was more wonderful than lying on grass under a tree and waching the clouds float by behind the branches. I grew up on a farm for goodness sakes.

But the great outdoors and I are not seeing eye to blood-shot red due to pollen eye. That's right. Allergies to the great outdoors has done me in.

I complained last year to my doctor, who assured me that pollen, dust and all that is outdoors causes hay fever in everyone and it's not really an allergy. He finally succumbed and tested for allergies. I got the call from his nurse, "Tests came back. It seems you're allergic to everything." Well, duh.

This year, the prescriptions given to me last year no longer work. So now, it appears I'm allergic to everything plus. 

It's going to be a long spring and summer and fall. I miss being outdoors.