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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Sucker punch

I hang on to friends from high school, from various places I've lived and worked. Friends, like family, are what define us when all is said and done.

So it's especially hard when a friend is hurting and there's no band aid to fix the hurt. My senior year in high school, I made a great friend -- two actually because E & J were a couple even then.

Through the years, we've stayed in touch. Not day-to-day, but we had that connection. Be it Christmas or another time, we always touched base.

We were looking forward to seeing each other at our high school reunion this fall. But E just told me that her husband of nearly 29 years walked out in May. He left for a younger woman.

I'm still trying to process this. Growing older is scary. Scariest thing I've ever done. Each day you notice new wrinkles, you need your glasses more and feel a few more aches and pains. So I understand the panic and the feeling of wanting to go back, be young, feel the thrill of dating and new love.

Sane people don't act on it. So I'm a little pissed off at J. How selfish. He's hurt my friend, her children and countless others by his selfishness.

Maybe I'm being a bit of a witch when I take a little joy in learning also that the younger woman has now left him. Good. Hope it hurts.

My friend is actually trying to salvage her life, her marriage and has agreed to go to counseling. It might work out. It might not. She's brave for trying, for not giving up on a life built. Maybe this crisis will put that life on even a stronger foundation. I wish only the best for her, and really I do hope that both E & J find happiness again.

It's tough to see friends go through this, and it makes you feel a little more vulnerable. I'll probably hold my husband a little tighter, a little longer tonight, and I'll wonder if that's enough.

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