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Monday, November 06, 2006

Dancing with the devil

Comedian Chris Rock offers this advice to fathers, "Your main job as a father," he says, "is to keep your daughter off the pole."

Rock is referring to pole dancing, stripping. And, no, I don't want to hear from all of you who know the finer points and differences between the two.

Last night, my daughter, who's usually reticent and doesn't like to share much about her life, her friend's life etc. came into my room.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"My friend, (name withheld), just called. Her parents are gonna kill her."

"Why?" I asked calmly, knowing this was a figure of speech and said friend's parents really weren't going to kill her.

"She just called me. She's going on stage in a few minutes. She took a job as a stripper."

My daughter then gave me the name and location of the place where her friend was getting ready to throw her dignity away.

It took every inch of my being not to get on the phone and call her friend's dad, and tell him to get down there and get his daughter off the stage.

I thought better of it because her friend's mother has made it abundantly clear in the past few weeks that we no longer have a friendship. We share a lot of the same friends, but it's too complicated to understand why this has happened. It's beyond me. Anyway, I digress, I'm over that -- REALLY. But because the situation is what it is, I didn't call.

And, I'm not sure that I would have been right to call. This girl is of legal age. An adult, who's been on her own since she was a teen. This is her decision.

Still, I was sad. My daughter was sad.

"Did you tell her not to do it?"

"She wouldn't have listened. I just told her to call me if she needed to talk after it was over."

Sometimes, that's the best we can do.


wordgirl said...

No kidding. Sometimes, it's the most help just standing beside them and letting your friends fall flat on their faces. To force them to do your will rarely works.

Kelly said...

My husband constantly quotes that Chris Rock line. Now it doesn't seem so funny...

LilRed said...

Dang! I know you agonized over the decision not to call the parents. You know, even if you would have called, it could have gone painfully awry. Your daughter sounds like a good friend.

V-Grrrl said...

That is sad. Hopefully it will be sad for the dancer as well and she'll find another path to take.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I think that is hilarious! I told you KARMA is a Bitch! That is what those ppl get for being hateful to you for no reason. I told you, what goes around comes around. hehhe Love it!

Redneck Diva said...

Wow. Sometimes being a friend is hard.

I just caught up on reading your blog. Goodness girl - you are busy! I've been out of commission for awhile and things don't look to be getting any better any time soon. I'll drop in when I can, but please know that if I seem scarce I'll eventually get back to reading ya!

And I just have to know...what was your Halloween costume?

CISSY said...

All: This was a tough one. I think I made the right decision because it most certainly could have blown up in my face given the current state of my relationship with friend's mom.

Anon: I never wish anything bad for anyone. Ok...maybe that last managing editor I had, but not on anyone else I know. Karma can bite you back. :) Good feelings, good thoughts.